Social Dilemma – A Widowed Man Remarriage

Once upon a time, in the land where I come from, woman were forced to perform Sati, when her husband was no more. She used to be burnt alive (WTF, I didn’t even realize it till date, the ALIVE part) in the same fire that burnt her husband’s death body. This was to show her commitment to her husband, in good and bad, in life and death, we will be together. (This guys were partly sweet and partly fools to take the ‘together in death’ literally) But I don’t know why they didn’t do the same for Men whose wife would die.

Well that’s how it was in India, not so long back before the Sati Custom was put off. There hasn’t been a clear understanding on what needs to be done of the Widowed Man or Woman. What should be the attempt after the death of their partner. Should they be remarried ? Should they live their entire alone, in grief of their partner ? It applies to both Man and Woman, the solitude is always engraving in its own way. It becomes even more tragic when sudden death happens, after few years of marriage. And nothing can compare to the pain of a person, man or woman, to grief in the lose of the partner and take care of the child.

This is the particular case, I want to talk about today. I take case of the man today, but be open to convert into feminine form, I might post that someday soon. So a man gets married to a beautiful woman and they live a wonderful life. They have a beautiful baby girl. Due to some event, the lady says goodbye to this earth. There is mourning in the family, sadness all around. After a month, only a few remember the event and everyone goes on in their life. The man takes care of the child. He becomes fommy (father mommy). The child is 2 now.

Every morning his day starts with taking care of the child, getting the kid ready, then go to work, come back, eat, feed, sleep, wake up, change diapers, sleep, wake up and it repeats. I believe either he could take the kid with him to work, if he is all alone in a far off city, but if he is back at his home town, his other family members would take care of the girl, when he is away for work. So the man, does his best to be a father as well as a mother.

One Sunday, a year after his wife passed away, one of his close relative, asks him to marry again, for the sake of child. Then this episode repeats over the period of time, everywhere he goes. Everyone from his family, relatives, colleagues, party fellows, neighbors and a passer by, suggests him to marry. But there is nothing beyond love for the kid for him at this point of time. He takes care of the girl, as a single parent. He raises her to become a very intelligent, bold and amazing girl. She completes her graduation and joins a IT company. She earns huge sum and everyone is happy about her in the family. She is an independent woman now.

In the due course of time, the man grew up and he didn’t realize how time flew by. Now when he is resting in his house, he comes to think of if he should marry again. He likes a woman, who is a single woman herself. She didn’t get to marry somehow, because of her passion for work and her dreams. She likes the man as well. They both talk and share emotions for each other.

So, when it is time for the girl to be tying knots herself, is it alright for the Man to think about his remarriage ! He is so damn confused ? What should he tell his daughter ? What should he tell his family members and what they will have to tell about it ? What do you have to say about the Widowed Man think about his remarriage after so many years ?

I believe it would be different for everyone, some might marry early on for the sake of child, some might marry when the kid is grown up and some might not marry at all. It is an individuals choice and he/she must be given a fair choice of exploring life in the way want to. They must however do all their duties rightfully.