Can love happen twice ?


Picture Courtesy - Manan Gadhiya
Picture Courtesy – Manan Gadhiya

This one is for the most charming lady in my life, who means to me more than anything else. She just happened to ask me, about love. I quote her words “Some people are like, they love one person for long time, then when it breaks, they find another one and within short time, they feel that it is their great love. If they are clear regarding it or just satisfying themselves”. It seems very interesting to me and I am sure a lot of people might have gone through this dilemma or thought once in a while about themselves, their friends or someone in neighborhood, falling in love second time.

Love is a feeling that keeps you attached with someone and you care for that person, romantically involve with that person and you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Love is an incredible feeling, capable of moving through space and time (read Interstellar here). Love is just a feeling after all. And feelings are inside your head. You can fool yourself and your brain will fool you as well. There is some conscious fooling and there is a lot of subconscious fooling happening inside of your head every single moment.

Consciously you keep saying to yourself, like this is going to be a great day, it tastes wonderful, this is my love, this is a great job, I am doing great, I will be fine and so on. This constant talk with self, when things are not so great, is something you consciously fool yourself. Sub-consciously or unconsciously your brain is fooling every time, mind you, it fools you every single time. Whatever blue, green, red you see might not be so. All is what your brain wants you to believe. Alright so now that it is clear that how everything is at time unsubstantial and surreal.

So back to the dilemma. You have been loving a person for a very long time and somehow you do not happen to be with that person, then you find someone else and you feel this is your love of life and forever. A thing that has to be very very clearly understood, that this is no universal law of motion. It is more of quantum physics. This is mere an explanation and there is possibility for an exception and variance. When someone says they have been in love with a person for very long time, it totally depends on what and how they pursue the definition and feeling of love. OK, they might be in the dilemma in the very first instance itself. In their understanding for what is love. Second it would definitely depend on the reason why they are not together anymore. Was it your decision, was it your partners, was it a mutual decision or it was never decided but it just happened. This matters a lot, since this gives a space and reason for how love will be pursued and sought out in the next encounter.

Just an example, I am a girl, I live in a metro city, I have been in love with my boyfriend since college and when job happened, we couldn’t be together anymore. We tried to continue the relationship for an year or so, but it was getting down on me very hard and he used to curse me all the time. We broke up. May be I broke up. I found a new guy at my job, who was considerate, sweet, understanding, matured and very smart. Things happened and we were in love in a year. Life has never been better, in all this years. We are together for the last 3 years and we will be married soon. This is the love of my life and I am glad. History I do not even remember my ex-boyfriend.

So this is one could often say about what they think about their love. Love is a belief in your heart oops in your head. Well, biologically my charming lady, it might be possible that the brain is fooling. You see, survival instincts and growth, made us develop this way. To believe in something that is necessary for our long living. So if they believe they are having the love of their life and if they are true to themselves at every moment of the day, night and in sleep, then it is true, else it is not. So for me to say if that is possible, well hell yeah, mathematically even if the possibility is very very less, we would still say it is possible. Biologically, we will have to screen them through ECG and what not. So for the best of everyone’s interest, believe what they say and support them. For if you happen to be in that situation, believe in your love and do what makes you happy.

Long post cut short, quoting Titanic “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets“. To completely and clearly describe every possibility I might need a book, after all quantum theories cannot be explained within a post.

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17 thoughts on “Can love happen twice ?

  1. I believe that anyone can love many people but you can only have one soul mate. The one person you are willing to commit yourself to for the rest of your life. (Marriage) I believe that the many people you love are there to help you and them get closer to finding your soul mate. Even after a breakup i believe you can still love that person but it hurts less and less the more time passes.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      As long as it is understood that love is a feeling and it is in our heart n mind. Where as relationship/marriage is a commitment to the other person and has to be with one, it can vary as per ones own belief.

      It also matters where one comes from. Things change from place to place. But as humans, a part of us is always same.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A bit of psychology here : According to Freud’s theory of Oedipus/Electra complex, the child (4-5years) develops love for the parent of oppsite gender and hostility towards the same gender parent. Later as the child matures, he/she starts identifying with the same gender parent and gives the before feelings.

    This is just a theory and I don’t know how far it is true. So the first love is your parent and so love does happen twice and in some cases more than twice.

    Besides, love is dynamic and fall for many people in your lifetime and not need to be a romantic one always πŸ˜‰

    Have a great day!
    Arcane owl

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I used to believe that true love only happened once. That we would only fall in love with someone one time. As I got older I learned how dynamic love is and how it changes person to person. I still firmly believe in that everlasting love, but who says that it has to be romantic?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Obviously πŸ™‚
      That’s why we go into marriages, relationships so that we can stick to our love.

      I am rather a propagator of Soul Mate πŸ™‚

      This was for those, who are stuck in past with love, they don’t have anything left of love and they think that love cannot happen.

      Just because it can happen, doesn’t mean it must ! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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