Fear of the Second First Time


First Time

It has been of a common acceptance that many of us feel the fear of unknown. This has been rooted in our feelings and brain since the time we used to live in caves. Every time we are to face something for the first time, there is some kind of mixed feelings building inside of your stomach and your head. You feel a little bit of excitement and a little bit of apprehension. There are multiple feelings melting in your mouth at the same time and you do not quite know which one is intense than the other.

This is how we feel when we have to travel first time in a flight. You encounter similar kind of feelings before your first job. When you go to a new city out of your home for the first time, there are mixed feelings of nostalgia, freedom, challenges and responsibility floating on top your head and eyes. You experience even stronger and wider feelings when you are about to get married. This is how we humans are. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the first time. Fear of something new.

Many argue that the fear they have is because they haven’t quite experienced it before. They have never come across such a situation, hence they cannot deal with it. They can learn from it and next time onward they will be good. Well I see people having even more confusion for the second first time.

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Second First Time

What is this Second First Time ?

Scenario 1 : You have lived in your house for 2 decades and you have to live the house (HOME) because of some reason. When you move to a new place, new home, you start comparing it with the previous house. You cannot quite accept the good things about the new house and you are start all the memories of the old house, which is yet your favorite one.

Check the Inside Out Trailer here ©Disney Pixar

Scenario 2 : You have been using your mobile for 5 years now and you happen to break/lose it somehow. You buy a new mobile and you start comparing every single feature with the previous one. You do not like the camera on the new mobile. There are a lot of things you do not like about it.

Mobile
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Scenario 3 : You love have been in love with a boy for a long time. Your relationship was an example in your friend circles. You both were spoken of as meant to be for each other. However situations forbid you to be together for the rest of your live. You experience lot of pain and life happens all along. You fall in love with a man of your choice and when you start living together, you compare him with your previous boyfriend. You don’t know what is reality and what is fake.

Scenario 4 : You are happily married with princess of your dreams. You were deeply in love with her beauty and looks. But somehow things went bitter between you two. You decided to let her go. You find someone with a lesser charm but more serenity. You marry the person for forgetting your previous experience and being with someone. But somehow every time you end up thinking about your previous marriage and compare your new wife with the previous one. You wonder if you ever should have married. You don’t know if you are true to yourself or faking a life.

Scenario 5 : You were the topper of your college. You got A in all your academics. You were destined to get the best job in campus. You cleared all the rounds of interview, however when the offer letter was released, you were told that there is only internship available at that point of time. You were aghast. You decided to let go of it. You were broken and sad. It was your dream job. As you go through the next semester, you already have 3 jobs in your pocket. One day you get a mail from previous employer, that there is a new job opportunity and they would like to take you into consideration for the position. You go for it. But every moment you compare it with your previous experience and you wonder what is this all about.


  • Life presents you with different challenges.
  • Your job is to deal with each one in the best way you can.
  • Do not live in the past.
  • Do not force yourself with troubles.
  • Keep a stable mind when you take decisions.
  • You must choose wisely and be then ready for whatever comes next.
  • Everyone lives by a logic, you must verify if yours is valid.
  • Be true to yourself.
  • Do not fake.
  • Everything else is just part of life and luck.

 

16 thoughts on “Fear of the Second First Time

  1. Letting go of the past, indeed. If you start a new adventure, you have to stop comparing it to old experiences and focus on the good of the new. Nice post 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, it is a basic principle, but often people get stuck in their lifestyle and nature to let go of things. It becomes difficult for few people. Hope one day someone finds this post and helps them in times of need 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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