One Question You Shouldn’t Be Asking Her In Long Distance Relationship !

First of all let me define what do I mean by Long Distance Relationship. Since it is a very wide topic and possibility of multiple kinds, I will restrict it to few scenarios so that clears which kind of Long Distance Relationship this post caters to. This post is not entitled to the LDR which has materialized all the way online, faraway or distance from the beginning.


You were in deep love with your classmate. She was good at studies and passionate. She goes to a different city for college, while you stay back in the same city where you both fell in love. You both have been in relationship all your high school. You know you are meant to be together. A schoolmate lover living away.

* * * *

You feel in love with a girl in college. During the entire term of college, you both were together. She used to write notes and you would copy from her. You both took part in lot of cultural activities and won lot of times. She got a job in metro city, while you had to stay back in your city. A collegemate love working in some other city.

* * * *

You were a smart person and extraordinary at your work. She was calm and composed. You worked together. Everyday from having breakfast till evening snacks, you never missed it. You would come along with her to office and leave with her to drop her at her place. You would spend all your weekends with her most of the times watching movies or on outings. You were in a world of fairy tales. She loves you equally good and you meant the world to her. She got a better job in another city. You were promoted in the same job in the same city. A colleague lover, getting a new job.

* * * *

Since the times when someone feels love, you were attracted to that simple looking teenage girl in your neighborhood. Every time your eyes met her, the world would disappear around you. You have seen her grow from being a young teenage girl to a independent young lady. You have seen her grow beautiful every single day. There is nothing that you both don’t know about each other. Her father got transferred to the other corner of the land. A girl next door, family shifted to new place.

* * * *

So the kind of love and relationship where two people have been together and known each other for a many years, due to some new event in life, they had to stay away from each other, that is the context I am talking about. In all the scenarios, they are still in touch via calls, texts and video calls. They make every effort to keep the love reaching the other part of heart.

She is away. You miss her. She misses you. She has friend. Every time you call her, she is with him. She goes to movies with him. You envy her. She spends a lot of time with him. You wonder what is going on. You feel the affection she had for you is reducing.

Questions in your mind

Is she in love with him ?
Is distance causing a crack in our relationship?
Is she cheating on me?
Should I ask her should I ask her not ?

With these chain of thoughts your relationship may end up disastrous.

Do not question on her loyalty ! Lest you may be questioned on your love ?

In the age when love shifts from one person to other just like TV channels, you are scared to lose her and your insecurity might become the sole reason to confirm your thoughts.

Be careful in the choice of your words with her.

Talk with a wise friend – is anyone wise enough ?

  • Be careful on the influence of others on you.
  • Do not drink and call.
  • Don’t ponder over these thoughts for many days.
  • Depending on the comfort level of your communication either keep it straight or direct.
  • Don’t be blunt or absurd.
  • Meet her if possible.
  • Talk face to face

Applicable to : Age Group – 13 to 29.9

If you have any doubts, please comment below or you may shoot me an e-mail, I will be happy to discuss on it.

6 thoughts on “One Question You Shouldn’t Be Asking Her In Long Distance Relationship !

  1. If she is going to cheat, she will. There is nothing you or anyone can do to prevent it. If she is the type of person to cheat then that is who she is and questioning whether or not she WILL won’t do anything but cause you serious trust issues and make you go crazy. It happened to me. She ended up not being as loyal as I always thought she was. But that was out of my control. And if the girl cheats, then you will always have the clear conscious that you didn’t do anything and you were loyal till the end. It hurts, a lot. But in the end you will always come out with the clearer head and conscious

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For starters, I would recommend that you don’t fall in love with a person before you understand him/her. If you have that understanding, you won’t have to worry that much about the what ifs. If however, you fell in love with someone very deeply with out even understanding each other, then be ready to ask bravely and face the heat. Please understand that If I cheat on you, there is a very slim.chance that I will confess when you ask me. But if you still want to ask her/him, make sure you have a reason to feel insecure. There has to be some change in behaviour that you notice. So if you do notice something, first place yourself ib the position (s)he is and then think what your behaviour would have been.

    Anyways the bottomline is that if I doubt her fidelity, it could mean only two things : 1)she has given me a reason to doubt her
    2) I am an insecure asshole

    If it’s the former, then the relationship is dead there . If it’s the latter, that’s also bad. I’ll talk about the former later. If it’s the latter, the relationship is 1/4th dead there. But now that I have a doubt, I must ask her the question. I must ask her with an intention to know and understand her stance and not with the intention of some criminal investigation. If I fail to do so, our relationship is 1/2 dead there. But now that I have asked her in a very negative way, it’s her responsibility to clear the air without overreacting. If she fails to do so, the relationship is 3/4th dead there. What’s the point in such a relationship?

    Now if it’s the former, the relationship is already dead but you need to get out of it and save yourself before it’s too late. As I said earlier, if she is happily cheating on you, she will not proudly confess it. So hire a good detective or become one yourself. If she is innocent, then your lost time and money will be a punishment for ur insecurity. If she was actually cheating, your investment will save you out !

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you for encapsulating all the aspects and putting it analytically. I am sure the readers will find it useful and one day it might help someone.


  3. Long Distance Relationships!!
    The topic is quite subjective and crucial. Depends upon every individual. There are people who keeps on sugar coating things over the phone calls and chats and cheats on the other side while some remain loyal till the end.
    The questions like “Is he/she cheating me or does he/she love me? keep on blabbering in the mind if there isn’t a high mutual understanding in the relationship.

    Liked by 3 people

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