Hope Vs Illusion

Hope is a wonderful thing. May be the only thing. With hope, you can go miles and far and deep. You may continue even when everything seems to be not going in the way they must. It is Hope, apart from fear, that has kept us humans to survive on this Earth longer than it was expected.

Illusion, on the other hand, is a beautiful thing when mixed with visual aspect of life, creates a magical effect. Illusion in life, can as well, keep you doing things without any logical explanation or a background. You continue to behold your belief in your own illusion that something will happen for the best.

What is the difference between Illusion and Hope then ?

Well, it’s in the origin of the both the emotions or feelings, that lies the difference.

Hope comes from the constant steady slow but continuous canvas of little steps and the past interactions you had in the subject, that leads to a strong belief system, where you have a thought that says that may be something is out there which will make it happen or something that you are completely unaware of, which will work out in the end.

Illusion on the other hand comes up with your own cooked story without validation of the truth or evaluation of the happening in the surrounding. It lacks the base of any logical explanation. It is more based on the assumptions rather than a belief system. It is something that builds up by a continuous hit of same thoughts on to yourself.

Is Illusion a bad thing than Hope ?

Well, again it doesn’t essentially make any difference until the event or a situation comes to a completion of to what was it originally. If you have a situation where you hoped nonetheless without any basis that in the end it will work out and if it does work out, then whether it was an illusion or a hope, wouldn’t make a difference altogether. It would only start to make any difference, when the results are different than what you expected.

Is Hope something we should continue even when the results are otherwise ?

Most of it is subjective to the person in picture and the event or subject one is dealing with. However as again since the time of evolution, Hope often close relative of Illusion, has done wonderful and impossible things like enabling us humans to cross a river, climb a mountain, walk for hours in desert, persist in a relationship for years, continue to work hard for our goals and even in the worst of a possible human situations like prisons or stuck in debris, this feeling of hope has led us to continue survive, perform and evolve.

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Why marriages are difficult

He : Hi, where are you?
She : I am at my parents home.
He : What happened ? Why you went there ?
She : I am fed up now. I cannot take it any more. I am going to be at my parents place for a while. I will come back later.

This is a small conversation between a recently married couple. It’s been 6 months since their marriage and situation is getting bitter every day for the girl.

Here is some background.

Boy

He is studious, dedicated and oriented towards life. He has never been involved with girls. He was raised almost as a single child as his elder sister was married, when he was very young. He got job and got married when he was 28. When he was looking for a girl in arrange marriage, he was also looking for that spark and hope in girl who would be jovial and happy going in life. He got one and he got married to her. She was 22.

Girl

She has been brought up her parents very lovingly and caringly as all parents do. They would never say anything to her. She completed her graduation and was pursuing bachelors in law. She found the guy to be decent and educated, with some content. She had hope that things would be beautiful ahead. She was very caring and aligned to his husband’s wishes.

Boy’s Mother

She is timid. She is the usual 1960’s parents for whom the child is always child, even if they have a kids. She would always instruct him to study, even when he was doing his Master’s in Technology. He was a lecturer in college, yet for her he was yet to grow. He never lived out of his city, neither did his parents. Their whole life has been in the same city and around similar people

Together

When they all were living together, the mother as usual would try to instruct them in every little thing in life from food, habits, sleep, cleanliness, timings, events, traditions, rituals and so on. She wants to care for them, but it feels like a bondage. The girl, cooks for them and tries to nurture, but when she gets to hear something from her in laws she feels sad. This goes on. The guy tries to console her, explain her and make her understand. Sometimes she understands, sometimes she feels just sad. Slowly she doesn’t tell him much.

Sometimes things get heated up and the argument goes haywire. All this was creating bitterness in her and she continued to feel upset. Hence she left to take a break. She went to her parents, where she felt alive and free.

What went wrong!

This is usual in middle-class families in India. This happens because the framework of life is different for 2 families. Their habits, attitude and outlook are different. The framework of mother was completely orthodox and living in a different age with different mindset then the present age. He wanted a progressive life and he wanted to live a modern lifestyle with open mindset, so he chose such a girl. But he couldn’t balance it. Because human heart is fragile and far more so is the woman’s heart.

The dynamics of City Life

If you are staying away from home – this one is for you.

You miss your home. You miss your Mom. You miss your family. More importantly you miss yourself.

Everyone is different. Each one has their own experience. But this is for the migratory birds.

If you were born in town or village and you have been brought up in a different shade of life. You had your discipline and your beliefs.

Everything you knew, here on goes into the gutter.

If you don’t like to smoke – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you don’t like to drink – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you don’t have a relationship – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you are not doing something you have never done – then you are missing out on all the fun.

You got to have fun, even if it means that you do something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

Fair amount of girls and boys in the modern Indian, live away from home for study and job. They live among people from around the country who carry different notions and thoughts about life.

If a group of boys stay in a flat, then every weekend it must be about having alcohol or watching obscene movies.

If a group of girls stay in a flat, then every weekend it must be about shopping or partying or meeting boyfriend.

If you are none of the above, then you are the most boring person on earth !

If your roommates, go meet their boyfriends or if their boyfriends come home to meet and they enjoy, what are you supposed to do ?

The curious case of many young people nowadays is to fit in the status quo! Even if you don’t understand or like the TV series, you need to watch it, because a lot of them watch it.

It’s become a life driven by the choices and demands of other where you don’t have a unique and strong stand for your own choices and beliefs. You have to face at every walk of life, for your food choices, fashion, thought process, you likes and dislikes about every single thing from movies, music, sports to food and so on is driven by the trend and the status quo.

If you don’t walk along or beside, you will be crushed. You will live a life of confusion and suffering.

To liberate yourself from all the sufferings you must know thyself well. You must love yourself for who you are. You must strengthen your skills and invoke a sense of achievement and honor in yourself and your actions. You must develop rituals.

By performing actions based your choices and performing them well, you will gain confidence in who you are and love yourself for what you are, by which you can face the challenges of life and the trend, so you can set a foot in the shore and make a mark. You leave your footprints for others to follow. You create an impact that lasts. You stop existing and start living.

To Life.