Self Sufficient Honesty

I was having a casual talk with someone I have known for a long time. We were having a good time. Slowly the discussion turned cheesy and we started to flirt. Soon the temperature of the floor started to heat up and the air in the surrounding warmed up. She started to touch my feet, while we were sitting on a high rise chairs on the side of a bar.

She placed her left elbow her on the parapet and curled her fingers in her locks around her ear. She had applied some special perfume that day. It was like she had some thoughts in her mind, since the beginning. We came closer to each other and our heads started to move towards one another. Suddenly I found my palm over her lips and she was shocked. She asked me what happened. I said I have a girlfriend.

She pulled my hands away and looked in my eyes. She said how will she know what happens here. I said I will tell her. She was shocked. She let go off me and went back. She asked me why would I tell her. I said because I tell her everything. She winked and whispered, may be you could let go off this one time and not tell her. I nod my head left and right, I said I cannot.

She got disappointed and left the place *swear words*. I said thank you.

One Question You Shouldn’t Be Asking Her In Long Distance Relationship !

First of all let me define what do I mean by Long Distance Relationship. Since it is a very wide topic and possibility of multiple kinds, I will restrict it to few scenarios so that clears which kind of Long Distance Relationship this post caters to. This post is not entitled to the LDR which has materialized all the way online, faraway or distance from the beginning.

Scenarios

You were in deep love with your classmate. She was good at studies and passionate. She goes to a different city for college, while you stay back in the same city where you both fell in love. You both have been in relationship all your high school. You know you are meant to be together. A schoolmate lover living away.

* * * *

You feel in love with a girl in college. During the entire term of college, you both were together. She used to write notes and you would copy from her. You both took part in lot of cultural activities and won lot of times. She got a job in metro city, while you had to stay back in your city. A collegemate love working in some other city.

* * * *

You were a smart person and extraordinary at your work. She was calm and composed. You worked together. Everyday from having breakfast till evening snacks, you never missed it. You would come along with her to office and leave with her to drop her at her place. You would spend all your weekends with her most of the times watching movies or on outings. You were in a world of fairy tales. She loves you equally good and you meant the world to her. She got a better job in another city. You were promoted in the same job in the same city. A colleague lover, getting a new job.

* * * *

Since the times when someone feels love, you were attracted to that simple looking teenage girl in your neighborhood. Every time your eyes met her, the world would disappear around you. You have seen her grow from being a young teenage girl to a independent young lady. You have seen her grow beautiful every single day. There is nothing that you both don’t know about each other. Her father got transferred to the other corner of the land. A girl next door, family shifted to new place.

* * * *

So the kind of love and relationship where two people have been together and known each other for a many years, due to some new event in life, they had to stay away from each other, that is the context I am talking about. In all the scenarios, they are still in touch via calls, texts and video calls. They make every effort to keep the love reaching the other part of heart.

She is away. You miss her. She misses you. She has friend. Every time you call her, she is with him. She goes to movies with him. You envy her. She spends a lot of time with him. You wonder what is going on. You feel the affection she had for you is reducing.

Questions in your mind

Is she in love with him ?
Is distance causing a crack in our relationship?
Is she cheating on me?
Should I ask her should I ask her not ?

With these chain of thoughts your relationship may end up disastrous.

Do not question on her loyalty ! Lest you may be questioned on your love ?

In the age when love shifts from one person to other just like TV channels, you are scared to lose her and your insecurity might become the sole reason to confirm your thoughts.

Be careful in the choice of your words with her.

Talk with a wise friend – is anyone wise enough ?

  • Be careful on the influence of others on you.
  • Do not drink and call.
  • Don’t ponder over these thoughts for many days.
  • Depending on the comfort level of your communication either keep it straight or direct.
  • Don’t be blunt or absurd.
  • Meet her if possible.
  • Talk face to face

Applicable to : Age Group – 13 to 29.9


If you have any doubts, please comment below or you may shoot me an e-mail, I will be happy to discuss on it.

Integrity of Feelings

Love and Breakup

I fell in love with you in my teens and you were the most amazing girl in my life. We were together for a decade and it meant the world to me. You promised to be in my life forever, but that forever happened to be finite. Life happened, you moved to some other country with your family and love did not thrive. You chose to leave me for my own good. You broke up with me.


Love after Breakup and Breakup after Love

I was doomed after my previous experience and never thought that I will ever experience another love in my life. I was a fallen flower, you chose to pluck me in your hair. You were beautiful and sane. Days flew by and love grew stronger. I had to chose between you and my career, your sanity said I should go with career. So much did I engrossed myself in work, that there was no space for love. You came by when I was dying and you embarked life in me. You left me with life, to break me into pieces.


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Marriage and Divorce

I was a broken glass. We were tied with the bond of marriage and you chose me to be your partner. You were not aware of my pain inside and all you know was that you liked me. I did like you as well, but little did I know that you were a shattered glass on your own. I cannot do any less for your pain, but I can be your companion in this journey. I chose you for I did not have any option and you chose me for you did not have any option. This was merely an agreement to mend our broken pieces and stitch in the plain of time. Time flew by and nothing essentially changed. We decided for good or bad, it was meant to end. You went your way and I went my way.


Marriage after Divorce and Divorce after Marriage

I was waiting on the banks of river, when I heard a song of love. You were lamenting the lose of your love, echoing my feelings. I sang along with you and we felt that we were meant to be. This story was going to be forever, but life is not just a song. Every day when you sung, different song, I couldn’t catch up with the rhythm. You felt I deemed the love we had and you chose to sing in a different tone. The song fell apart and so did the Marriage. You left the nest and so did the songs.


Integrity – The feelings which are spreading like water and being drunk like wine, they are being purposefully thrown into dustbins to forego of previous pain. I cannot stop wonder, where is that integrity, which was once boasted of strongly and have we come far from what it used to be, that the repair cannot be done. Are we trying to copy the culture in the middle of nowhere, only to realize that we were high with alcohol and next is just a hangover.

Are we ready for Divorces?