How to make a tough decision

We all go through moments in life when we have to make a decision. When we have to choose from various options. It may be career, life, love, job, food and so on. It may be a simplest thing for which we may get confused to decide, like what to cook for dinner every day. It may also be a very important and serious decision to make, like flying to a foreign country. There are circumstances when we are at ease to make decision, while there are sometimes when we are in situation that manipulates our decision making power. Today I will take you through a ride of a simple logic to make decision. But let me tell you one thing clearly and get it very clear in your head, there is no perfect decision. Most of the times, it is only a good decision for yourself. Now that said and understood, lets take a situation and see how you can decide.

Say you are lady working in an IT firm and your spouse is in the same organization as well. He is due to get his Onsite Visa approved in few days, say mid of April. You have tried for a new job and you have a offer letter in hand, which makes you drop a resignation letter to your HR by end of March. However during the same time, since it is financial year end, you are eligible for annual hike which again is due by mid of April and the decision for the hike is going to be made by say 5th of April. So now you have to decide, whether or not you should resign from the current organization and if yes, when should you drop a resignation letter to your HR.

Great, sounds a tricky problem and many of us might go through such situations, given that life is so volatile nowadays and money is a big challenge, every decision we make has a big impact on our future. Yeah that is what goes through your head, when you are in such situation. So what is the first thing you should do. Take a deep breath, drink some juice and follow the below steps.

Life is all about possibilities and as I said, there is no perfect decision only a good enough choice for yourself. So do not try to find the best option from the above. A best option for someone may not be a good enough option for you. You may be trying to find what is the best option from the above, but at times there is no best option. Take an example, what is the best thing to have for breakfast – An apple or An orange. How do you compare an apple or an orange. I might like apple where as you might like orange. So it depends on our habits, likes, preference and priorities. Whatever that fits in your pocket and that makes you happy, choose that. Even if, for someone else it might be a worst option. It does not matter for you. You make a decision for yourself.

So placing all the possibilities, risks and consequences in order :

Possibility 1 – You put papers on Monday (Month end March) or You don’t put papers on Monday
Possibility 2 – Spouse gets onsite or Spouse does not get onsite
Possibility 3 – You get to fly with him or You do not get to fly with him
Possibility 4 – You get a individual visa for Mexico or You do not get a individual visa for Mexico

Now that you have got that written down, map all those one by one to say a flow chart and decide which one is the one that seems to make you the most happy.

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3 Short Love Stories

STORY ONE : (A Sad One)

This is a third person view of a story. I have been told about this by a friend. A boy and girl are in love, they are from same state but from different castes. The boy is out of country working somewhere and she is back at home. They were in relationship for many years, now it is time for getting married. The boy came to city to work it out. The girl is reluctant in agreeing to it. The girl’s parents are adamant and orthodox. They deny of this relationship and disagree to any possibility on discussion about marriage. The girl tries to convince her parents, but nothing seem to work out. She then decides to send the boy a harsh message and ask him to forget her. She apologizes and sends a message (CHAT) that clearly shows her helplessness to convince them. She asks him to hate her and in the hate, decide to move on in his life to achieve greatness and a great partner. The boy needs to go back in few days.

What is this all about ? Was it lack of communication before the love continued for so long ? Is it lack of communication now ? What can the boy do at this point ? Why do they love so much that they become blind and when the situation demands them to be strong, why they be good people and sacrifice the love ?

STORY TWO : (A Confused One)

The boy and girl both work in the same company and get to know each other well. Love builds and they hangout often together. This continues for a year. Then they both decide to quit the job and pursue higher studies. They both get admission in different colleges. Now that they know their paths are going to be different and it is going to be long distant relationship, if they want to call it so, they know in their heart that it won’t work out. So they kiss good bye. They girl continuous to be firm, but the boy gets emotionally broke and very demanding. Girl decides to block him out for his own good. 2 years after their PG, they decide to connect again. She talks well. He talks well. Now the boy’s parents are looking for a girl and he has to go look for her in 2 weeks. He decides to ask her about their love and the possibility of marriage (ON CHAT), which she fairly denies. She feels sad about what happened back then and that she has to repeat again now, breaking his heart. She informs clearly that whatever has to happen, she will marry the guy her parents choose and it has always been son.

What is this all about ? Is this lack of communication ? Do they need to sit out and discuss on this ? Is this over ? What can the boy do now ?

STORY THREE : (A Happy One)

A girl from a little village, goes to work in a metro city and is career oriented. She is a great coder and there isn’t anything like love in her life. Eventually after 2 years of work life, she realizes that a boy who has proposed her, really loves her and that she likes him to. She decides he is the one for her. She goes and informs her parents. They do not agree as usual ( not from same state and caste ). They don’t like the boy at all and they scold her a lot. But she was one of those firm kind. She tries to convince them. Over the period of 2 months, there are multiple discussion between her and family. The boys side is ready since beginning. After lot of discussions, her parents agreed. When I asked about how ? She told me that it is a SECRET. Well I will come to know of it soon. For now, they are going to be married some day !

What was this all about denying and agreeing ? Did she do any different from the above 2 cases ? Did she fight differently than others or she was just lucky ? What is the SECRET she is talking about ?

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Well, this is how stories are nowadays and I am sure you will connect to this certainly with your own life or of your friends or of someone whom you know. This is a everyday story.

What I believe is, communication and acceptance must be first readily agreed upon and then when it is clear that this is meant to be, one must clearly fight for it till the end. It might be different for different people and circumstances, but again, they always know what they are and what their life is like.

Check similar – 3 Short Incomplete Stories

Ask yourself – Stuck in the past ?

I have some interesting friends, who happen to experience some vivid incidents in life and they teach me a lot. I have this one friend, who doesn’t want to get married because of a breakup in the past and she is stuck to that moment in for lifetime. I am sure, you might have lot of such friends or you might be one yourself. I would like you to take some time and think about it. Why is that break up so hard to move on. Moving on not necessarily mean you have forgotten the past and you don’t consider it to be beautiful. Moving on is essential for living. When something has end like forever and you are sure there is nothing you can do about it, then you must surely look at exploring your life and embracing all good that is coming to your life.

But then she might say, there is not quite much happening in life and nothing exciting at all. I ask her and you, to consider this fact and think on this. Are you sure, that no good is happening because it is not happening or the reason is you ? Have you hold on all corners so tightly that nothing essentially ever happens. Are you sure, you are not the reason for a static life ! Do reconsider. At times, she says yes. I do not dwell any further in messing with thoughts and belief of my friends, so I let them decide what is good for them.

There are quite a number of interesting persons in my life who drive my thoughts and make me think about some acute things in life, which are missed by a lot of us. I started to think, whether they should be thinking the way they are. They seem to go along well and in the end everything turns out for good, isn’t it ? May be I am just stupid, to think wide and far about things in life. This is the way it is. But surely I would always ask anyone who has decided to do something in life out of some experience in past. Are you sure, you are not clouded by your experience in past, making a decision out of a filter ? You see, it is us who guide the course of our journey. It is some small decisions and beliefs we have, that drive us and make us who we are.

Next time when you feel, the whole world is coming down on you, because you are very nice and simple person, I would like you to reconsider the facts. Think about what is that you want, what is  that is happening and what is that you are stopping from happening. Never let anything that has made you sad, guide a decision you make. Never make an experience your weakness. Never let a person in your life, decide the course of your journey. Whoever it is, whether that person is whom you love a lot out of proportions or it is the person who has given you sadness forever and you hate him like anything. Be yourself, you know it from a lot of quotes. Now you know what they meant, be yourself, in every situation you are put through and go through. We live through good moments and learn through not so good moments.

Everything that happens with us has a purpose, we learn during the next set of journey. But if you do not let it happen, it would never. If you do not step into the next step, you would never realize what has life got you for. Someone might be a reason for a breakage, make sure you are not the person responsible for your demise. Look around, there is always someone who wants to care for you, your family, your friend or your silent lover. You might be hurt by one person, that doesn’t mean you never let someone else closure to you. May be yes this time you need to be cautious, more careful, but let things happens. Do not hold on to things very tightly.

To the most amazing friends out there. To the most simplest person out there. To the most caring girl out there. I have only one question for you. Ask yourself, why you are the way you are and are you sure, you are not the reason why things are not moving in your life. Are you not stopping yourself from being happy. May good times, flow into your life like a never ending river and you live the life you were destined to live. Sometimes, you are destined to change your believes and change your attitude. Just don’t be so good, that you hurt yourself forever.

Let me know what you think about this post and do you see anyone around you who is so. Thank you for reading.