Homecoming of Lazarus

That last drop to the home
After 9 months of Graveyard Shift
When you know you don’t have to work in Night Shift anymore
That feeling of returning home from the border after an year
The nostalgic feeling of being who you were
It is like you were in a constant battle with life
And the war has finally end
It is like you return back from the war
With memories full of your mind
The memories you can live your life with
But you look forward to life
To see how simple things in life can now make a difference to you
You are a changed man
You appreciate everyone who makes a difference in your life
You are careful about the words you say
You are a pleasant being
And you want to live a delightful life
It is like growing flowers in your garden
You want to water them
You want to nurture them
You want to see them bloom completely
And you want to experience the aroma of your garden
You want to feel alive
You are looking forward to life
You are looking forward to live.
To the days of struggle and
to the days coming ahead
Cheers to Life !
Cheers to Life !


Fear of the Second First Time

First Time

It has been of a common acceptance that many of us feel the fear of unknown. This has been rooted in our feelings and brain since the time we used to live in caves. Every time we are to face something for the first time, there is some kind of mixed feelings building inside of your stomach and your head. You feel a little bit of excitement and a little bit of apprehension. There are multiple feelings melting in your mouth at the same time and you do not quite know which one is intense than the other.

This is how we feel when we have to travel first time in a flight. You encounter similar kind of feelings before your first job. When you go to a new city out of your home for the first time, there are mixed feelings of nostalgia, freedom, challenges and responsibility floating on top your head and eyes. You experience even stronger and wider feelings when you are about to get married. This is how we humans are. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the first time. Fear of something new.

Many argue that the fear they have is because they haven’t quite experienced it before. They have never come across such a situation, hence they cannot deal with it. They can learn from it and next time onward they will be good. Well I see people having even more confusion for the second first time.

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Second First Time

What is this Second First Time ?

Scenario 1 : You have lived in your house for 2 decades and you have to live the house (HOME) because of some reason. When you move to a new place, new home, you start comparing it with the previous house. You cannot quite accept the good things about the new house and you are start all the memories of the old house, which is yet your favorite one.

Check the Inside Out Trailer here ©Disney Pixar

Scenario 2 : You have been using your mobile for 5 years now and you happen to break/lose it somehow. You buy a new mobile and you start comparing every single feature with the previous one. You do not like the camera on the new mobile. There are a lot of things you do not like about it.

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Scenario 3 : You love have been in love with a boy for a long time. Your relationship was an example in your friend circles. You both were spoken of as meant to be for each other. However situations forbid you to be together for the rest of your live. You experience lot of pain and life happens all along. You fall in love with a man of your choice and when you start living together, you compare him with your previous boyfriend. You don’t know what is reality and what is fake.

Scenario 4 : You are happily married with princess of your dreams. You were deeply in love with her beauty and looks. But somehow things went bitter between you two. You decided to let her go. You find someone with a lesser charm but more serenity. You marry the person for forgetting your previous experience and being with someone. But somehow every time you end up thinking about your previous marriage and compare your new wife with the previous one. You wonder if you ever should have married. You don’t know if you are true to yourself or faking a life.

Scenario 5 : You were the topper of your college. You got A in all your academics. You were destined to get the best job in campus. You cleared all the rounds of interview, however when the offer letter was released, you were told that there is only internship available at that point of time. You were aghast. You decided to let go of it. You were broken and sad. It was your dream job. As you go through the next semester, you already have 3 jobs in your pocket. One day you get a mail from previous employer, that there is a new job opportunity and they would like to take you into consideration for the position. You go for it. But every moment you compare it with your previous experience and you wonder what is this all about.

  • Life presents you with different challenges.
  • Your job is to deal with each one in the best way you can.
  • Do not live in the past.
  • Do not force yourself with troubles.
  • Keep a stable mind when you take decisions.
  • You must choose wisely and be then ready for whatever comes next.
  • Everyone lives by a logic, you must verify if yours is valid.
  • Be true to yourself.
  • Do not fake.
  • Everything else is just part of life and luck.


Integrity of Feelings

Love and Breakup

I fell in love with you in my teens and you were the most amazing girl in my life. We were together for a decade and it meant the world to me. You promised to be in my life forever, but that forever happened to be finite. Life happened, you moved to some other country with your family and love did not thrive. You chose to leave me for my own good. You broke up with me.

Love after Breakup and Breakup after Love

I was doomed after my previous experience and never thought that I will ever experience another love in my life. I was a fallen flower, you chose to pluck me in your hair. You were beautiful and sane. Days flew by and love grew stronger. I had to chose between you and my career, your sanity said I should go with career. So much did I engrossed myself in work, that there was no space for love. You came by when I was dying and you embarked life in me. You left me with life, to break me into pieces.


Marriage and Divorce

I was a broken glass. We were tied with the bond of marriage and you chose me to be your partner. You were not aware of my pain inside and all you know was that you liked me. I did like you as well, but little did I know that you were a shattered glass on your own. I cannot do any less for your pain, but I can be your companion in this journey. I chose you for I did not have any option and you chose me for you did not have any option. This was merely an agreement to mend our broken pieces and stitch in the plain of time. Time flew by and nothing essentially changed. We decided for good or bad, it was meant to end. You went your way and I went my way.

Marriage after Divorce and Divorce after Marriage

I was waiting on the banks of river, when I heard a song of love. You were lamenting the lose of your love, echoing my feelings. I sang along with you and we felt that we were meant to be. This story was going to be forever, but life is not just a song. Every day when you sung, different song, I couldn’t catch up with the rhythm. You felt I deemed the love we had and you chose to sing in a different tone. The song fell apart and so did the Marriage. You left the nest and so did the songs.

Integrity – The feelings which are spreading like water and being drunk like wine, they are being purposefully thrown into dustbins to forego of previous pain. I cannot stop wonder, where is that integrity, which was once boasted of strongly and have we come far from what it used to be, that the repair cannot be done. Are we trying to copy the culture in the middle of nowhere, only to realize that we were high with alcohol and next is just a hangover.

Are we ready for Divorces?