Integrity of Feelings

Love and Breakup

I fell in love with you in my teens and you were the most amazing girl in my life. We were together for a decade and it meant the world to me. You promised to be in my life forever, but that forever happened to be finite. Life happened, you moved to some other country with your family and love did not thrive. You chose to leave me for my own good. You broke up with me.

Love after Breakup and Breakup after Love

I was doomed after my previous experience and never thought that I will ever experience another love in my life. I was a fallen flower, you chose to pluck me in your hair. You were beautiful and sane. Days flew by and love grew stronger. I had to chose between you and my career, your sanity said I should go with career. So much did I engrossed myself in work, that there was no space for love. You came by when I was dying and you embarked life in me. You left me with life, to break me into pieces.


Marriage and Divorce

I was a broken glass. We were tied with the bond of marriage and you chose me to be your partner. You were not aware of my pain inside and all you know was that you liked me. I did like you as well, but little did I know that you were a shattered glass on your own. I cannot do any less for your pain, but I can be your companion in this journey. I chose you for I did not have any option and you chose me for you did not have any option. This was merely an agreement to mend our broken pieces and stitch in the plain of time. Time flew by and nothing essentially changed. We decided for good or bad, it was meant to end. You went your way and I went my way.

Marriage after Divorce and Divorce after Marriage

I was waiting on the banks of river, when I heard a song of love. You were lamenting the lose of your love, echoing my feelings. I sang along with you and we felt that we were meant to be. This story was going to be forever, but life is not just a song. Every day when you sung, different song, I couldn’t catch up with the rhythm. You felt I deemed the love we had and you chose to sing in a different tone. The song fell apart and so did the Marriage. You left the nest and so did the songs.

Integrity – The feelings which are spreading like water and being drunk like wine, they are being purposefully thrown into dustbins to forego of previous pain. I cannot stop wonder, where is that integrity, which was once boasted of strongly and have we come far from what it used to be, that the repair cannot be done. Are we trying to copy the culture in the middle of nowhere, only to realize that we were high with alcohol and next is just a hangover.

Are we ready for Divorces?

Theory of Infusion – 2

After the striking correlation in the way how human behavior and nature change with the events happening in our life – posted in ‘Theory of Infusion‘, let us see a very casual way of infusion playing its part.

You had a nice sound sleep. When you wake up in the morning your roommate says it is going to rain today. You keep thinking about it all the time that it might rain. When you are on your way towards your office, it rains heavily and your are drenched from top to bottom. This happened because you were constantly thinking about it in your mind. Well well well! That sounds a bit stupid isn’t it. There is no control on rain by anybody, at the least anybody’s thoughts.

Okay! Let’s ignore the event. You are working away from home and you stay with your friends. You are a very easy going person and you have enjoyed freedom in your life. You didn’t have any big troubles and no hustle with any relationship, because you never bothered. Your family is now searching a partner for you.

Your roommate who is already engaged since few months, keeps talking to her fiancé for hours together and every single event during the day is repeated. When your eyes meet her, she says same thing will happen to you. You start wondering about it. You keep thinking nervously about how you might loose your freedom. How you will have to answer for every little thing you do and how you cannot take any decision anymore without consulting your partner and his family.

Time moves on. The thoughts keep replaying in your head. You get engaged. When you get a call from him, you feel pissed off at the questions he asks. You cannot hold yourself. You get irritated and you end in fight or sadness during calls.

Now the interesting thing is neither your fiancé has asked anything that should make you upset nor they have imposed any kind of restriction. All they are asking to you is to show their care and love for you. But you had the thoughts replayed in your head numerous time. You had reached the threshold inside your head, whereas in reality it might have happened less often. Your reaction to the reality is totally indecipherable.

What happens next is on what you do about it. Trailing back to where it went wrong, we find that one day your friend infused you with thoughts. You compared your life to that persons. You did not wanted that situation to happen in your life. And believe me it wouldn’t have happen, if you just deleted that thought process on the first day itself and believed in yourself.

It is a choice, we have to make how people and things effect us from the surrounding we live in. Hope you will be wise in the choices you make.

Tomorrow never comes !

If you are waiting for some magic to happen tomorrow because you are hopeful about it, then let me tell you tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow is place where no one has been. All you have is yesterday’s memoirs and today. You need to do whatever you have to do within today.

You may ask, how can I do everything today itself ? Well, what is that you want to do tomorrow, that can’t be done today ? You get me ?

If you think, that you will go to gym from tomorrow, then when you get up tomorrow, you will have other things to take care of. If you feel the importance of going to gym then take a step right away. Stop reading the post and go to the nearest gym in your location.

Anything that you think, you will start from tomorrow, whether it be studying a new subject, learning a new skill or art, developing a new habit, getting yourself organized, you need to do it today. You need to take the first step today and everything else we follow.

If you feel that there is a lot on your plate already and you cannot take it up now, then you must make the right schedule for the next step and then let that time come for processing, meanwhile focus on everything else you have to do and do it very well.

When you start doing well with the objectives you have in your hand today and you become good at it, you will have less to worry about tomorrow. You will not have to push your stuff on tomorrow. You can include new things in your today.

If you have to appreciate someone for the work they have done in your life, then do it today. If you want to thank someone for favor, do it today. I know you cannot thank every one right away, just today. But when I say do it today, I mean the day when you get the thought that you want to thank someone and you think, you will do that first thing in the tomorrow. Well why wait for tomorrow then, you may very well do it today, if you cannot call, just text them with your true feelings(Do Not Propose Someone Over Text!)

When you start living in today, you need to develop a new habit of thinking for 10 minutes in the morning. It is not new, it is just like the last minute thoughts you had while you lived in tomorrow. You think before sleeping the tasks you have to do the next day and wonder about them. Sometimes you are excited and the other times nervous, which in most cases end up disturbing your sleep. While you start living in today, the entire thought process has to start in the morning, because that’s when your today starts. Highlight the important things you are going to take care of. It need not go on for hours, just a 5-10 minutes of reminding yourself and then you are good to go. Slowly it will become a part of your lifestyle.

Make the best of your today and stop living in tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes.