Inspiring speech by Jay Shetty – Whatever your relationship status is !

We’re the generation that doesn’t want relationships
We want a second cup of coffee in our Instagram’s of lazy Saturday mornings,
We want a second pair of shoes in the artsy pictures we take of our feet,
We want that Facebook official relationship that everyone can like and comment on,

We want that post that wins relationship goals,
We want that date for Sunday morning brunch,
someone to drown our sorrows for the Monday blues.
We want that Taco Tuesday partner,
someone to text us “Good morning” on a Wednesday.
We want a +1 for all the weddings we keep getting invited to.

How did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?
But we are the generation, that doesn’t want a relationship.
We swipe left in the hopes of finding the right one,
we try to special order our soul mates like we do on Postmates.
We read “5 Ways to To Know He’s Into You” and “7 Ways She Will Fall For You”,
thinking we can upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project.
We invest more time into our Tinder profiles
than we do with our personalities,
yet we are the one who don’t want a relationship.
We talk and we text.
We snapchat and we sext.
We hang out and we happy hour.
We go get coffee and grab a beer.
Anything to avoid an actual date.
We private message to meet up,
small talk for an hour
only to return home
and then small talk via text.
We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner,
The only thing we end up winning is most likely to be alone.

We want the facade of a relationship without the work of a relationship,
We want that hand holding without the eye contact.
We want the teasing without the serious conversations.
We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment
We want to celebrate the anniversaries without the 365 days that lead up to them.
We want the happily ever after without the effort in the here and now
We want to have deep connections but still keep things shallow.
We want that World Series kind of love without willing to go to bat.
We want someone to hold our hands, but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands.
We want to be swept off our feet but at the same time remaining safely, independently standing on our own.
We want to keep chasing love, but we don’t actually want to fall into it.
We don’t want relationships, we want friends with benefits,
We want Netflix & Chill and nudes on Tinder.
We want everything that will give us the illusion of a relationship without an actual relationship.
We want the rewards with no risk,
we want the payout with no cost.
We want to connect enough but not too much,
we want to commit a little but not a lot.

We take it slow, we see where it goes,
we don’t want to label things, we just go with the flow.
We keep one foot out of the door, we keep one eye open,
we keep people at arms length, toying with their emotions
but mostly toying with our own.
When things get too close to being real
we run, we hide, we leave,
we say to ourselves “there’s more fish in the sea”.
We want that downloadable person that’s a perfect fit,
just like an app you can update whenever there’s a hitch,
compartmentalized into a folder that we can delete
when we have no more need for it.

We don’t want to unpack our baggage,
or worse help someone else unpack theirs
We hide everything behind an Instagram filter,
we chose a Netflix show over a real conversation.
We feel entitled to love like we feel entitled to full-time jobs our of college.

We want a placeholder not a person,
we want a warm body not a partner.
We want someone to eat with
while we scroll through our news feed.

See, what we need to recognize is that
the things we truly want,
the things that are deeply meaningful,
the things that are genuinely fulfilling,
all require patience.
They all require work.
They all require energy.

See, the challenge is we all want to be with someone who makes us happy,
when what we need to do is be someone who makes us happy.

We sit with our friends discussing the rules
but no one even knows what game we’re trying to play
because the problem with our generation
not wanting relationships is that –
at the end of the day, we actually do.

Whatever Your Relationship Status Is | By Jay Shetty

True Friendship – Blissful

Whether you are on top of hill or near a lakeside

Whether it’s morning or noon

Whether you are hungry or stomach full

Whether it’s highway or mudway

Whether you are on pillion seat or on driver seat

Whether you are tired or excited

Whether there bumps in the way or a smooth road

Whether you are fresh or dull

When you don’t have any good pics of the trip

When you don’t get to see any great place

When nothing of the above matters but you know you have had a good time

When you have someone who pushes you to take one more step

It’s blissful to have someone in your life with whom it doesn’t matter where you are, how you are, what you are doing – only the company matters.

To True Friendship

Why marriages are difficult

He : Hi, where are you?
She : I am at my parents home.
He : What happened ? Why you went there ?
She : I am fed up now. I cannot take it any more. I am going to be at my parents place for a while. I will come back later.

This is a small conversation between a recently married couple. It’s been 6 months since their marriage and situation is getting bitter every day for the girl.

Here is some background.

Boy

He is studious, dedicated and oriented towards life. He has never been involved with girls. He was raised almost as a single child as his elder sister was married, when he was very young. He got job and got married when he was 28. When he was looking for a girl in arrange marriage, he was also looking for that spark and hope in girl who would be jovial and happy going in life. He got one and he got married to her. She was 22.

Girl

She has been brought up her parents very lovingly and caringly as all parents do. They would never say anything to her. She completed her graduation and was pursuing bachelors in law. She found the guy to be decent and educated, with some content. She had hope that things would be beautiful ahead. She was very caring and aligned to his husband’s wishes.

Boy’s Mother

She is timid. She is the usual 1960’s parents for whom the child is always child, even if they have a kids. She would always instruct him to study, even when he was doing his Master’s in Technology. He was a lecturer in college, yet for her he was yet to grow. He never lived out of his city, neither did his parents. Their whole life has been in the same city and around similar people

Together

When they all were living together, the mother as usual would try to instruct them in every little thing in life from food, habits, sleep, cleanliness, timings, events, traditions, rituals and so on. She wants to care for them, but it feels like a bondage. The girl, cooks for them and tries to nurture, but when she gets to hear something from her in laws she feels sad. This goes on. The guy tries to console her, explain her and make her understand. Sometimes she understands, sometimes she feels just sad. Slowly she doesn’t tell him much.

Sometimes things get heated up and the argument goes haywire. All this was creating bitterness in her and she continued to feel upset. Hence she left to take a break. She went to her parents, where she felt alive and free.

What went wrong!

This is usual in middle-class families in India. This happens because the framework of life is different for 2 families. Their habits, attitude and outlook are different. The framework of mother was completely orthodox and living in a different age with different mindset then the present age. He wanted a progressive life and he wanted to live a modern lifestyle with open mindset, so he chose such a girl. But he couldn’t balance it. Because human heart is fragile and far more so is the woman’s heart.