Things they don’t tell about marriages (India)

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Butterfly on a flower

Things they don’t tell about marriages, especially in a country like India, where marriages are a big deal of time, pomp, custom and gathering. They might tell you, but you might be in a different mode of life altogether so it just slips by. Here are few things that particularly happens in a marriage setup like in India. You must read – Mutual Funds are subject to market risk, please read the document carefully before investing.

Thus is the case with marriage, you must think before making a life time commitment. Here are few glimpses :

Life is not same anymore !

Your food habits and timings, now entirely depend on a new family(if you are a girl) and you ought to arrange yourself to the lifestyle of your in-laws. You have to remember to inform your spouse about your whereabouts and missing the food at home, in case of any(if you are a boy).

In a normal arranged marriage, the girl goes to live with the boy’s family (which eventually becomes her own) which sometimes is a joint family with around 20+ members under the same roof. In such marriage, life is eventful if you look at it one way, the cheerful way. However if you are going through one such life, then you would say, at least in the first couple of years, it’s stressful, upaetting, frustrating and tiring. You might cry under a pillow some nights. It’s the fight of the authorities. It’s about being right and choosing not to be quite. It’s about letting someone know they are being unnecessarily strict and dominating.

It’s about living in a world where you cannot hurt someone, you shouldn’t hurt someone and at the same time you choose not to get hurt yourself.

If you are a man, you are grinding in between the world of your Mom and your wife. You have to choose sides. For every event that happens, you need to find a way that makes each party happy. You have to console each one. You have to make sure you don’t hurt any. You are under the classic dilemma of choosing the left eye or right eye. You want both of them and you want both of them together, but given the conditions of life and thought processes, they tend to go against each other in many of the life views and decisions.

You cannot spend without being considerate. You cannot do something that you have been doing all your life, because that’s not what a married man does. You have a lady who doesn’t like it.

You were having a great time at your home and now that you move to your new home, you have to make sure you lock all the doors at night. You have to check the milk is at the door early morning. You need to check if there are any to be spoiled items in the refrigerator. You were sleeping until late, when your Mom would serve your special coffee on your table beside the bed. Now you have to get up before the world is up and keep the hot coffee ready to be served.

It might seem too much to take at first and it might seem a huge task before you even start. But there is always something going on amidst all the hurdles and hustles of life. You know you have someone to look after and that someone will look after you.

It is all in your attitude to get the best of life and so with the marriage. You need to be accepting people the way they are. You must accept your mother in-law as your own mother. You must accept your daughter in-law as your own daughter. You must know life has changed with time and now is the time when women work tirelessly at job, so she might not be able to cook daily at home. You must also understand that you may have learnt to build skyscrapers but your world is your family and that family has a old lady who has worked all her life to give you the man, you consider to be the best in world. Respect her and love her for such a beautiful gift. When times are right laugh loud together and when times are tough, shred your tears together. You have her shoulder and she has yours. You both have his shoulder, who never wants to see you both cry. What is marriage afterall if not about being together.

One question to you – My Lost Love !

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One day if you see me across the street you are walking, while it is raining and you see me standing near the traffic signal, with no umbrella or rain coat but just a file to cover my head. And it so happened that I was not aware of the dynamics of the weather in this new town, I stand there under the pour for the signal to turn green. When you see me there, after 3 years since we last spoke, will you be able to identify me?

If you remember me and if you know it’s me, will you walk down to me and try to have a talk?

While you have a cup of coffee with your colleagues, will you wonder if it was me or just your illusion!

There are some things I mustn’t ask and think about but why is that everytime I see you, chill wave runs down my spine.

Are you my weakness or strength in disguise!

Are you my pain or blessing while I drain?

Will you, let go of all those times, when you were hurt and when you know of how much I suffered since then, continue from where it all stopped?

Can you stop being an adult and be the same old girl who thought she found her soulmate?

If there was nothing you needed to hide from me and if we were free to be with our uniqueness, why shouldn’t have that been a long lasting experience!

I know, something’s are not in my control. But I will make an attempt, until I know that it is meant to be the way it is.

For as long as my heart beats and I feel the vibe thinking about you, I will continue to believe you are the O.N.E.

To Love.

Why we broke up ? And how much I love you

The dynamics of City Life

If you are staying away from home – this one is for you.

You miss your home. You miss your Mom. You miss your family. More importantly you miss yourself.

Everyone is different. Each one has their own experience. But this is for the migratory birds.

If you were born in town or village and you have been brought up in a different shade of life. You had your discipline and your beliefs.

Everything you knew, here on goes into the gutter.

If you don’t like to smoke – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you don’t like to drink – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you don’t have a relationship – then you are missing out on all the fun.

If you are not doing something you have never done – then you are missing out on all the fun.

You got to have fun, even if it means that you do something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

Fair amount of girls and boys in the modern Indian, live away from home for study and job. They live among people from around the country who carry different notions and thoughts about life.

If a group of boys stay in a flat, then every weekend it must be about having alcohol or watching obscene movies.

If a group of girls stay in a flat, then every weekend it must be about shopping or partying or meeting boyfriend.

If you are none of the above, then you are the most boring person on earth !

If your roommates, go meet their boyfriends or if their boyfriends come home to meet and they enjoy, what are you supposed to do ?

The curious case of many young people nowadays is to fit in the status quo! Even if you don’t understand or like the TV series, you need to watch it, because a lot of them watch it.

It’s become a life driven by the choices and demands of other where you don’t have a unique and strong stand for your own choices and beliefs. You have to face at every walk of life, for your food choices, fashion, thought process, you likes and dislikes about every single thing from movies, music, sports to food and so on is driven by the trend and the status quo.

If you don’t walk along or beside, you will be crushed. You will live a life of confusion and suffering.

To liberate yourself from all the sufferings you must know thyself well. You must love yourself for who you are. You must strengthen your skills and invoke a sense of achievement and honor in yourself and your actions. You must develop rituals.

By performing actions based your choices and performing them well, you will gain confidence in who you are and love yourself for what you are, by which you can face the challenges of life and the trend, so you can set a foot in the shore and make a mark. You leave your footprints for others to follow. You create an impact that lasts. You stop existing and start living.

To Life.